Essential Success Serenity

Save your sanity with serenity.

Easing your stress levels by giving yourself serenity. Satisfy your High and/or Secondary High behavior style stress relief needs to create serenity.

Essential success keys spark both immediate satisfaction and future success.

 

Examples

Ending the pain of a terror-filled childhood

Creating serenity that eases the difficulties of daily life

Finding a safety experience that washes away PTSD terrors

 

Essential Success With Serenity Example #1

Ending the pain of a terror-filled childhood

In 1989, Paula Kramer began therapy to help herself cope with lingering childhood terrors (see Essential Success Example #3). Her first therapist did not prepare Paula for the likelihood that therapy would release the great pain she had kept buried for years. The start of the pain and the level of pain were complete shocks to Paula. The pain left Paula disoriented. She had trouble coping in her daily life. Her therapist was unsympathetic, merely repeating, “You’re strong.” She kept insisting that Paula had to talk about the pain for it to go away. Paula refused to talk about the pain. Instead, Paula decided to take time out of her hectic life (single parent, homeschooling parent, college student) to spend 10 minutes a day doing something she wanted to do. All of her choices were quiet activities such as working a jigsaw puzzle, reading a light mystery, gardening, and sewing. On the days Paula took 10 minutes for herself, she coped much better. Over time the emotional pain subsided and eventually disappeared without Paula ever talking about it in therapy. Paula did refer to her pain once during a talk about women betraying women, but Paula never talked about her pain in therapy.

Success Key

Paula spent 10 minutes a day doing something she enjoyed, satisfying her Secondary High S behavior style stress relief need for quiet activities.

Immediate Satisfaction

Pleasure from enjoyable activities

Future Success

Freedom from her childhood pain for the rest of Paula’s life

Serenity

Paula’s success key gave her the serenity to erase the pain of her childhood terror.

Years later when Paula learned she has a High I Influence/High S Steadiness behavior style, she understood why the quite activities gave her serenity. Quiet activities are the way High S Steadiness people ease stress.

 

Essential Success With Serenity Example #2

Creating serenity that eases the difficulties of daily life

For years, Paula worked on her writing first thing in the morning. Once she had finished her writing for the day (if it was something difficult, her writing for the day could be one sentence), Paula felt serene. Writing first thing in the morning sparked a serenity that made coping with everything in her life easier.

Then Paula started babysitting grandchildren while her daughter attended college. Paula decided she had to do her exercises and shower first, then work on her writing later in the day as she could fit it in. When Paula finally did get to her writing, she felt anxious, fearful that she would not be able to get enough writing done to spark her serenity. During a period of sleeplessness and flu, Paula had a lot of time to think. Paula decided to go back to writing first thing in the morning. She decided to do whatever exercise she could while babysitting her grandchildren, such as walking in place. The first day Paula felt well enough, she worked on her writing first thing in the morning. Paula revised one page of a document and sparked serenity. Six days later, Paula succeeded at something she had been failing at.

For all of her childhood, her mother told Paula she could have something or do something, then take it away from Paula at the last minute. As an adult, Paula could get very anxious if she felt something she wanted was being taken away from her. Even when Paula recognized that situational factors were momentarily taking something away from her, she could still get anxious. Six days after Paula started writing in the morning again, a situation came up that took her away from what she had planned to do. Previously, Paula had tried to think about other things, but failed. After six days of sparking serenity, Paula was able to focus on two quiet activities she could do at that moment. The anxiety faded away. The serenity from writing first thing in the morning made coping with unexpected difficulties easier.

On days when Paula can stay on her computer for only short periods of time, she creates serenity with 2 or 3 minute tasks connected to her writing. One short task is moving text into her mailing campaign for her blog.

On days when Paula cannot sit at her computer first thing, reading something as research for her writing creates serenity.

Any action connected to her writing gives Paula the first thing in the morning serenity she needs to save her sanity the rest of the day.

Success Key

Paula made time to work on her writing everyday, satisfying her Secondary High S behavior style stress relief need for quiet activities as well as her Helping and Knowledge guiding value passions for using knowledge to help other people.

Immediate Satisfaction

Pleasure from the ability to express herself

Pride in accomplishment

Future Success

Serenity to cope with the difficulties of daily life

Serenity

Paula’s success key gives her the serenity she needs to cope with the everyday difficulties of life.

Writing is another High S Steadiness quiet activity.

 

Essential Success With Serenity Example #3

Finding a safety experience that washes away PTSD terrors

Paula’s mother tried to kill her twice when she was very little, creating a childhood of terror for Paula. Paula has lived with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) for decades. Paula hoped she would feel safe after her mother died, but knew her mother could live into her 90’s or even 100’s.

Paula accidentally discovered that listening to the main and end title music from the movie To Kill a Mockingbird gave her feelings of safety. Whenever Paula feels the terror from her childhood, she can now wash it away with the music from Mockingbird.

Success Key

Satisfying both her Secondary High S Steadiness behavior style need for quiet activity and her situational Harmony value for using music to experience deep emotions by adding emotionally satisfying music to her iPod

Immediate Satisfaction

Feeling the terror wash away as soon as she listens to the music

Future Success

Knowing she can feel safe at least part of everyday for the rest of her life

Discovering more and more energy to be creative and effective in other parts of her life

Serenity

Paula’s success key gave her the one thing she thought she would never have — the ability to feel safe.

 

© Paula M. Kramer, 2010
All rights reserved.
Last updated July 31, 2018