Verbal Clues, 4 Steps, Words With Wallop

Verbal Clues

The verbal clues below give you 5 opportunities:

To more effectively protect yourself from bad gossip (closed door relationships)

To more effectively protect yourself from ugly gossip (slammed door relationships)

To recognize DISC behavior styles and Spranger guiding values.

To spark more success for yourself by speaking words with wallop to yourself.

To spark unforeseen success for yourself by speaking words with wallop to others.

All of the verbal clues are statements from real people.

Use the Needs&PassionsUs file to do what you can to open closed and slammed doors. Sincerity and open-mindedness are necessary for successful change.

 

Sources Of Verbal Clues

You can hear or read verbal clues everywhere:

conversations

magazines

books

Internet posts

movies

television shows

radio shows

etc.

Paula Kramer adds more recognition clues as she finds them.

 

Natural & Adapted Behavior Styles

People have both natural and adapted behavior styles. People express their natural behavior styles when they feel comfortable and safe. People adapt their behavior styles to situations as they need to fit in. The recognition clues below reveal natural behavior styles.

 

Recognition Clues For DISC Behavior Styles

High_D_Verbal_Clues

High_I_Verbal_Clues

High_S_Verbal_Clues

High_C_Verbal_Clues

 

Recognition Clues For Spranger Guiding Values

Usefulness_Verbal_Clues

Knowledge_Verbal_Clues

Harmony_Verbal_Clues

Belief_Verbal_Clues

Helping_Verbal_Clues

Position_Verbal_Clues

 

4 Steps

These four steps will help you open doors to people before you identity their behavior styles and guiding values. Always remember that whatever your behavior towards other people, bystanders are watching and listening. You never know when a bystander could add something positive to your life. Your sincerity will give bystanders reasons to trust you.

Early in the Iraq War, Dr. Reg Williams suggested four steps to help new recruits be successful in the Navy. The recruits who followed his advice were more successful than recruits who didn’t. I have slightly adapted the steps.

Say hello.

Avoid judging.

Look for commonalities.

Ask for help.

You ask for help if a situation arises in which you need help. Do not invent a reason to ask for help. You do not have to like or agree with people to take these steps. Avoiding judgments and looking for commonalities will give people reasons to listen to you, even if you have different perspectives.

 

Words With Wallop

The words with wallop clues below are based on statements from highly successful people. Words have wallop when they give people the positive identities they need to create more success for themselves. First, use the recognition clues to help identify your behavior style and guiding value combination. Second, speak the words with wallop clues to yourself to spark more success for yourself. Finally, speak words with wallop to other people so they have reasons to intentionally create unforeseen success for you.

Words With Wallop For Changing The World, Example #1

From an Inside Edition news segment sometime during the 1980s

Words With Wallop: One sentence repeated occasionally over time.

A rabbi and his family moved to a town that had a white supremacist group. One member of the white supremacist group started leaving nasty messages on the rabbi’s answering machine. The rabbi called back after every nasty message to ask, “Would you like to come over for dinner and talk?” The white supremacist just kept leaving nasty messages.

When the white supremacist developed a degenerative disease, his white supremacist group dropped him. You can’t claim biological superiority if your body has a degenerative disease. The rabbi, however, was still asking, “Would you like to come over for dinner and talk?”

Eventually, the former white supremacist did go to the rabbi’s house for dinner and talk. They became such good friends that the former white supremacist moved into the rabbi’s house so the rabbi and his family could take care of him as his disease progressed.

 

Words With Wallop For Changing The World, Example #2

“Compassion Is Contagious”
Richard Carlson, Ph.D.
Family Circle
November 1, 2002, pages 38-41

Words With Wallop: Two sentences repeated daily for months

A young man lived in a city apartment building. The building had steps going up to its front door. Beneath the steps was an empty space. The apartment dweller came home one day to discover a homeless man living underneath the apartment steps.

The apartment dweller wasn’t sure how to react. He mostly ignored the homeless man, but occasionally gave him coins without looking at him. But the apartment dweller wanted to be a compassionate person in the world, and changed his attitude towards the homeless man. When he left in the morning, he looked at the homeless man and asked, “Hello, how are you today?” Returning home in the evening, he looked at the homeless man and asked, “How was your day?”

At first, the homeless man would not look at the apartment dweller and would not respond. But eventually he made eye contact and had short conversations with the apartment dweller. Months passed. Then the apartment dweller came home one day to find the homeless man gone.

More time passed. At the end of one day, the apartment dweller came home to find a man sitting on his apartment steps. The man stood up as the apartment dweller approached. The apartment dweller did not recognize the man until he identified himself as the homeless man who had lived underneath the apartment steps.

The former homeless man had decided that if the apartment dweller treated him with respect, he should respect himself enough to change his life. He left to make those changes. He come back to say, “Thank you.”

 

Words With Wallop Clues For Creating The Smiles That Spark Success

High D Controlling Others

Mike_Eruzione

Aly_Raisman

High D Controlling Self

Simone_Manuel

Michael_Phelps

High I Influencing Others

Muhammad_Ali

Princess_Diana

High I Influencing Self

Maya_Angelou

Matt_Mitcham

High S Steadying Others

Nancy_Reagan

Howard_Schultz

High S Steadying Self

Katie_Ledecky

Brad_Pitt

High C Respecting The Authority Of Others

Aung_San_Suu_Kyi

High C Expecting Others To Follow Rules

Pope_Francis

High C Setting Rules For Self

Nick_Jonas

Sonia_Sotomayor

 

© Paula M. Kramer, 2010
All rights reserved.
Last updated October 12, 2018